So I just sent Chrisanne a sort of "goodbye" letter on facebook. I sent her a messege on bbm because I know she's angry at me for posting that blog about the break-up on my Xanga. I told her I wasn't trying to make her look like a bad person. I truly wanted to just vent it all out. I wanted to "fully spill" my thoughts and feelings and what I felt at that moment. Do I feel bad?? Maybe just a little bit. But I'm done censoring myself. Censoring isn't what "fully spilling" is all about. But I did give a sort of "heads up" blog BEFORE I posted it.
Basically, I want to get over her. Get over us. Get over the whole thing. Everyone tells me in order for that to happen, Chris and I need to stop communicating. I'm trying. But it's HARD!! For the most part I'm good at just not looking at her sites. But then I get that moment of weakness and I break. Usually I see something I don't like and I'll get angry. But then I'll get over it. I can't help it!! I still freaking care!! And I still freaking worry!! But to get to the point where I don't get angry anymore from looking at her sites, it's going to be a process. A process that needs to start ASAP!!
As for the messege I sent, who knows if she'll even reply. If she doesn't, then I know she wants nothing to do with me anymore. I guess that's fine. It's what I need. Then her lack of a response will be my closure.
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